GARFIELD
by Raeror
Summary: The Man. The Myth. The Legend.


"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Monday Night Rawr! My name is J.A. Jim Arbuckle, and I am joined by my college, Odie. And it has been one chaotic night! At the start of the show, we were supposed to have a World Championship Match. Where the loser would be put in a casket! This was supposed to be between Garfield, the all-amazing, stripped like he's blazing, la-la-la-la lasagna tasting, hell-raising, star-chasing, trailblazing, eyebrow-raising, step on a crack, break your momma's back, flippity fat, that's one wack cat, The People's Champ, Garfield!"

"WOOF WOOF WOOF!" Odie slobbered all over the microphone.

"That's right Odie, Garfield who is the rightful World Champion, declared his rematch must be a Match Made In Hell, Hell In A Cell! One day after losing it on PPV! He demanded that it take place on RAWR! But look at the instant replay! Garfield's car, coming into the arena tonight, was _**PLOWED**_ into by Herman Post and his mail truck! Herman, of course, is one of the cronies of the current World Champion, that deceitful, sniveling, coward known as Nermal!"'

Odie growled into the mic.

"IT'S FRIDAY! FRIDAY! GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY!" The music blared throughout the arena.

"Oh, and that's Nermal's music now! Look at him stroll down the entrance ramp! Him and his crew! Herman Post! The Big Vicious Dog aka BVD, and Blinky The Clown! Oh, they brought out the casket too!"

Nermal reached the steel cell, giving it a pat as he sat on the casket, the world title around his waist. "Now I bet all you inbred idiots thought you were Garfield tonight, didn't you?"

" **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"** The arena erupted in disdain.

Nermal chucked. "Well if you go down to the local medical facility, you can see Garfield in a full body cast! Maybe he'll give you an autograph with using his mouth to hold the pen! Ahahahahahhahahahhahah!"

"And that's because of me!" Herman Post said. "I did that! I was the one who rid this show of Garfield! I bet right now Garfield wishes he never ever met me!"

"HEEEEEEEY, KIDS!" Blinky the clown shouted. "It seems like your parents wasted their hard-earned money for nothing!"

Nermal looked up. "You know what guys? If they want the Cell, dagnabbit I say we give them the cell! Let's climb up and just look down at all these peons! Yeah, that's it! Group photoshoot, at the top of the cell, whose with me?"

Making sure the title was secured around his waist, Nermal started climbing the cell, the rest of his gang in tow.

Get on the top of the cell, they posing for all of the cameras. "Make sure to get my good side!" Nermal said. "Oh wait, all my sides are good sides."

"I've had enough of looking at these mongrels," Herman said. "The women look like men, and the men look like even uglier women!"

"Alright boys, that's enough." Nermal yawned. "That's enough for the da-"

The crowd exploded, the whole arena becoming a mass of cheers. Almost deafening.

"What the-" Nermal looked down.

"OH MY GOD! ITS GARFIELD! GARFIELD! GARFIELD'S IN THE CASKET!" J.A. screamed. "HE WAS HIDING IN THE CASKET THE ENTIRE TIME!"

Garfield stared directly into Nermal's eyes as he got out of the caskett. There was a backpack on his back, and in it..."

"HE BROUGH A KENDO STICK! AN EQUALIZER! AND NOW HE'S CLIMBING THE CELL!"

"Take him out!" Nermal said to his crew.

The 3 of Nermal's thugs stood at the edge of the cage, trying to keep Garfield away. The BVD tried to bite at Garfield, but Garfield whacked him right in the face with the kendo stick.

 _ **WHACK!**_

Blinky tried to yank the kendo stick out of Garfield's hand, and the two got into a tug-of-war. "Let go you runt!" Blinky shouted.

"K." Garfield released his grip and let Blink pull the kendo stick right into his own face.

 _ **WHACK!**_

Garfield grabbed the stick just in time to block Herman's foot from stomping down on him.

"You stay under my feet where you belong!" He was incensed.

"Your wife tells me you don't deliver any day of the week." Garfield smacked Herman right on his toe.

 _ **WHACK!**_

Herman reeled back in pain, and Garfield got to the top, beating down all three of Nermal's cronies with shot after shot of the kendo stick.

 _ **WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!**_

 _ **"**_ LOOK AT HIM GO! LOOK AT GARFIELD FIGHT! RAWR IS WAR! RAWR IS WAR!"

Once he was finished, Garfield looked right at Nermal. The last thing standing.

Nermal tried to run, but he had nowhere to go!

"NERMAL'S TRAPPED! TRAPPED AT THE TOP OF THE CAGE! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NERMAL?"

"That's not fair!" Nermal said. "You have a kendo stick, I got nothing! Fight me like a real man, you coward!"

Garfield looked at the kendo stick, then back to Nermal. He threw the kendo stick off of the cell.

"That's riiiiiight." Nermal said, picking up the steel championship belt. "NOW TAKE THIS!"

Nermal tried to whack Garfield in the face, but Garfield blocked it, ripping the belt away from Nermal.

Nermal stepped back, but Garfield grabbed him. Garfield looked out into the arena of screaming fanatics.

"Time to leave, buddy!" He said to Nermal. "It's gonna be a bump ride!"

"What are you gonna-" Nermal looked down. "NO. NONONONONNOOOOOOOOOOO-"

Garfeild threw Nermal off the top of the cell and Nermal crashed through the announcer's table.

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! NERMAL JUST FELL FROM THE CAGE! RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE!"

Garfeild picked up the title and held it high in the air. The arena roared in approval

"GARFIELD! GARFIELD! GARFIELD! THE GREAT ONE OF RAWR!


End file.
